Parents vs. The Tech Oligarchy

I’m just reading Jonathan Haidt’s Substack post on After Babel for December 18, 2025^[1], and it reminded me of what so many people do when it comes to screens and children’s magnetic attraction to them: BLAME THE PARENTS.

As part of the “book tour” for my recent publication, Stuck in Our Screens: Setting Aside Social Drama and Restoring Human Connection, I’ve been doing book talks at local libraries. Without a doubt when the subject of youth and screens and all the problems they create comes up, someone will blame the parents. I shudder every time someone over the age of 50 decries the parenting practices of today, as if they were the picture-perfect parents themselves back in the “good-ole-days.” I’ll never forget my father’s incessant criticism of parents while failing to recognize his own shortcomings when he was in the barrel. Trust me, I know because I had a front row seat.

When it comes to screens, parents are pretty powerless. The folks (really the big tech oligarchs) who own the tech companies are out to get our kids, and these companies know what they are doing. They have created the tools and the social media programs that grab our kids’ attention, and they make billions from this insidious manipulation.

In addition to stealing time and attention from our kids, these products also contribute to children’s grumpiness and bad behavior. Research proves it^[2], and I’m seeing it with my own grandchildren. The more screen time they have, the snarkier they get.

One thing that the parent-blamers don’t seem to understand is that parenting doesn’t happen in a vacuum. The world out there is full of influences that affect how we parent. For example, the way kids dress is influenced by what the other kids wear at school (peer pressure), what advertising they see, and what is available to purchase.

Another context in which parents navigate that is often overlooked extends to their children’s extra-curricular activities. I often hear that coaches communicate with team members exclusively via text, so there is an expectation (requirement, really) that athletes must have a smartphone in order to stay abreast of team notifications. These practices put pressure on kids and their parents, especially the ones who are trying to raise their kids without constant connection to the internet.

Let us also not forget that kids are great imitators and that they copy what people around them do, and this starts during the first months of life. The first people they copy are their parents, who themselves have been wooed into the profit pipeline by the algorithms embedded in their own electronic devices. Let’s face it, big tech has swallowed us all. So, not only do parents have to swim upstream to protect their children from screens, they are also in a battle to conquer their own screen addictions.

I recently wrote about how I am concerned about youth (The Kids are Not OK), but I’m worried about adults, too. Bad adult behavior is increasing in its quantity, severity, and reach, and too much of it is coming from highly influential people, people who are role models for all of us, and it is taking a toll on our society.

I’ll leave it at that.

^[1] https://www.afterbabel.com/p/how-tech-companies-rig-parental-guilt?source=queue

^[2] Shawcroft, Jane E., Megan Gale, Katey Workman, Virginia Leiter, McKell Jorgensen-Wells, and Alexander C. Jensen. “Screen-Play: An Observational Study of the Effects of Screen Media on Children’s Play in a Museum Setting.” (2022).